My whisper in the dark…

I get scared sometimes…
Scared that you don’t really know me…
Scared that you don’t really know ME.
The me that I know.

And it does, it terrifies me…
Because I can feel it, that I’m not good enough.
How can I possibly be what you want,
When I’m so far from what you expected.

I’ve let you down so many times…
In ways I know you’d never admit.
And I am sorry, I am…
I’m sorry that I haven’t worked harder for you.

Because you, you are so good!
So perfect and so pure…
And when I’m with you, truely with you,
I find myself at peace.

And I find I love you more and more…
When I see you look at me, and love me…
A love I know I don’t deserve…
It saves me from myself.

But the insecurities, they tear at my soul…
Tear my confidence to shreds…
And I’m frightened, oh so frightened,
Of losing this love I have found.

Please forgive this pilgrim,
For crying out in the night.
But I cannot hide behind a mask,
For this is who I am.

A broken man.
Insecure.
Afraid.
And in love.

Please help me find that peace again.
The peace I feel when I look into your eyes,
And know that you see me.
That you see me, and still choose me and love me.

Lord God, eternal YHWH…
Please guide me…
Grant me refuge and peace…
Grant it to us and guide us, in your wisdom.

I hope you know how I love you…